I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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