I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
