So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
