Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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