3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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