brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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