nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
