Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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