remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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