p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone signed my nipple.
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