shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
