shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
