dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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