next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
