I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
