i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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