i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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