Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
