Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
