physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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