You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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