Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
