i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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