Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
