What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I lost the right to judge tonight
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
