i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
