Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
