I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
