I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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