wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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