dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize