walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
