Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
