Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize