I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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