It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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