ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
