I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
