Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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