so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
