make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
