i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
