I'm jealous of your bromance
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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