How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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