All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
