so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
