i permit you to call me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
