my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
