I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
you never un-have a 4some
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
