took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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