the day after is always just damage control
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
