Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
