I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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