I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
