I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
