so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Still dying that you shit outside
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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