Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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