Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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