Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
