next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
