OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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