alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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