i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
