it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
