she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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