I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
