Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
