after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just had sex on a roof
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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