I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
