Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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