FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
