I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
