I must be too annoying 4 u.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
